音樂詩人Don McLean用一首Vincent (Starry Starry Night) 輕柔的旋律撫慰著人心,也撫慰著梵谷這一顆從星空中隕落的靈魂。
Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and gray
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul
在滿佈星辰的夜晚,
夏夜裡望向星空,像是你調色盤上藍與黑的塗塗抹抹,
繁星點點,彷彿就是一雙雙眼睛,看穿我靈魂深處最黑暗的角落。
Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colors on the snowy linen land
山坡上,你用陰影描繪出絲柏和水仙,
緊緊抓住輕輕拂過的微風和冬夜帶來的一絲寒意,
星光撒在大地,在地平線上描繪出雪一樣白的邊際。
Now I understand what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they did not know how
Perhaps, they'll listen now
我終於了解你想說的,
你是如何被困在理智的桎梏中,
你又如何企圖讓自己從桎梏中脫逃,
過去沒有人在聽,沒有人知道該如何去了解你,
但或許他們現在會想要去了解你了吧!
Starry, starry night
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds in violet haze
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue
在滿佈星辰的夜晚,
像火焰般蠕動的花朵閃耀著刺眼的光芒,
狂亂的雲彩像渦旋般地滾動著,
就像你藍瓷般閃耀的眼神。
Colors changing hue
Morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand
物換星移,風雲變色,
晨間的田野終於冒出嫰芽,
飽受風霜的臉龐早已佈滿了痛苦的刻痕,
但這一切都將在你充滿愛心的輕拂之下得到了解脫。
Now I understand what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they did not know how
Perhaps, they'll listen now
我終於了解你想說的,
你是如何被困在理智的桎梏中,
你又如何企圖讓自己從桎梏中脫逃,
過去沒有人在聽,沒有人知道該如何去了解你,
但或許他們現在會想要去了解你了吧!
For they could not love you
And still your love was true
And when no hope was left inside
on that starry, starry night
You took your life as lovers often do
But I could have told you, Vincent
This world was never meant
for one as beautiful as you
因為他們不懂得如何愛你,
而你仍堅持保有一份最真誠的愛,
於是在星夜裡你感到絕望與無助,
就像所有失戀人們的選擇,你結束了自己的生命,
但我還是要告訴你,
這世上永遠不會再出現一個像你如此美好的生命了…
Starry, starry night
Portraits hung in empty hall
Frameless heads on nameless walls
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget
在滿佈星辰的夜晚,
就像在空蕩蕩的牆上掛滿了你的畫像,
無邊的臉龐釘在無名的牆面,
凝視著這令你始終掛念著的世界。
Like the strangers that you've met
The ragged man in ragged clothes
The silver thorn of bloody rose
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow
就像你一直掛念著的村民們,
步履蹣跚、衣不蔽體,
淌著鮮血的玫塊卻有著銀色的刺,
殘破不堪地躺在寒夜裡的初雪中。
Now I think I know what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
Then how you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they're not listening still
Perhaps, they never will...
現在我或許真的能體會到你所想告訴世人的,
你的一生始終困在理智的痛楚當中卻無從釋放,
人們不曾懂你,現在他們仍然不懂,
或許,他們永遠都不會懂…
割耳事件後的梵谷似乎認清了一個事實,沒有人真正了解他,連他自己也不了解自己。
高更的離去無疑是對梵谷一次沉痛的打擊,梵谷在事後寫給弟弟里奧的書信中也數度對自己失控的瘋狂行徑表達至深的懊悔,但他也無法控制自己時好時壞的精神狀態,幾度糾結之後,梵谷決定住進療養院,以免自己再度失控去傷害到週遭的友人。
在聖雷米療養院時期的梵谷仍持續創作,平日深居簡出的梵谷只能就院內的擺設和窗外的景緻來作畫,但經常出現在他腦海中的幻覺與妄想不斷地干擾他作畫的情緒,只是誰都沒料到,這種斷斷續續的幻覺與妄想卻為他創造出最具震撼力的個人風格特色:「渦旋 Swirling」,扭曲蠕動的每一個畫面都在訴說著他心中不安與矛盾,只是沒有人真正了解梵谷的不安與矛盾,只是,即使人們最後終於懂了,又能如何?(待續)
By Pongo (Mar. 15, 2015)
延伸閱讀:
【後印象派】梵谷 (之一):註定一生孤獨漂泊的靈魂
註:本系列 (藝術與大師) 所附照片均採用自網路,未註明出處,敬請見諒,若有違反著作權,煩請告知,當即刪除,謝謝